The law of equality discomfort

The law of equality discomfort

 

I saw the title of equality repulsion phenomenon in some book. At the very moment I come up with an idea that It is not the law of equality repulsion phenomenon but the law of equality discomfort.

We think that it is easy for people who are similar to each other and people of the same industry to be more friendly than people who are so different from each other. Actually it is not easy, because of psychology of men. For example, pretty ladies do not hang out with each other and it is difficult to make friends with each other.

The reason is that similar conditions make each other uncomfortable with strange comparison and competition. Therefore, some said that Koreans feel more comfortable and enjoy a sense of security in their relationship of top and bottom. Compared to our country, Americans do not seem to feel burden and think it good to compete with people in similar conditions

So Nietzsche said that they are good friends to help each other improve. That is, a competing friend is better than a comforting friend. But I heard from someone that Nietzsche did not have many friends and he died lonely without friends.

Many people have experienced such strange inconvenience when we meet people who are similar to each other and people who are equal. I made friends with a single woman like me of similar age, and similar disposition, moreover she was on the same business line as me at work. However, when the woman prospered and triumphant, I felt hurt and disheartened. After that the woman was uncomfortable.

What happened to the woman and me? Was the relationship over? How I managed to keep that relationship. I will introduce the solution for a while.

Firstly I did not consider why I felt discomfort as her problem but as my problem. I felt uneasy because I was proud or because I looked at her less than me and I thought she hurted my pride. But I changed my mind that everyone in the world had something better than me. There is a saying in the Bible “in humility value others above yourselves(Philippians 2: 3).” It is a way to be humble. This is not the same as being disheartened. Having broadened my mind with a humble thought, on the other side, I should recall and remind myself of my own character, self-esteem, and identity of speciality. This requires faith. And it is also necessary to devote hard work.

But if you have a friend of a similar person and you always feel uncomfortable, you should reconsider your friend as a true friend. Otherwise, if you think that it is not other’s problem but my problem and expand your mind with humility and do not lose your identity of specialty from faith and always devote yourself to what you are doing, you will always experience your own growth without losing a friend.