The solution of Human relationship

 

I learned the solution of human relationship

from my mother

 

 

Referring to the human relationship

Love is the relationship between a human and a human. The feature of love is the relationship. But the relationship has various types as the love has the method and skill.

Erich Fromm divided the types into two widely. He wrote many books like <The skill of love>, <To have or to be>, <The escape from freedom>. When I was university student, many broken hearted student read <The skill of love>. The difference from to have and to be, the relationship from to have and the relationship from to be have been studied till this era. The self-help books in these days said about these, they emphasized the importance of the relationship from to have.  

I have thing still remembered. That is, if the humans who want to have the relationship from to have come to see the flower in the street, they are satisfied with picking up the flower and putting in their room. Then eventually the flower comes to be destroyed and lose the life.

But the humans who want to have the relationship from to be enjoy the flower itself and appreciate it and care it. Then they do not destroy the flower but harmonize with the flower.

As we know, if the men who want to have relationship from to have cannot get something from others, the relationship will be finished. They try to keep theirs always and do not give them to others. And they try to control and restrict others.

The men who want to have the relationship from to be try to see who they are, not to see what they have. They find the meaning from the relationship with others itself and accommodate the opinion of others and view the others the possibility of which kind of meaningful work they can. They try to love and acknowledge the others as the independent beings. They love the weakness of others.   

However, it is impossible only to have the relationship from to be. The reason is that the world itself is the place happened to beat and be beaten and compete with others. We cannot always beat others and we cannot always be beaten by others. Unintentionally I beat someone and I suffer from someone. There is no eternal attacker and no eternal victim. These days the victims can have the power by banding together. It is so powerful that can make persons to have power draw back.     

 

The solution of human relationship, I learned it from my mother

When I was young, I have grudged at my mother many times. Because my mom did not blame and revenge someone who beat me and insulted me. She just said, “Maybe you do something wrong.” That’s all. I felt depressive. Then she said to me, “Better bend than break.”

I disliked those kinds of words.

Now I am aged and have many experiences and have religion, I rethink my mom.

When I think my mom, the words of love and intimacy occur to me. But when I think my daddy. The words of love and intimacy do not occur to me. My father loves me by his way. But the way of love is different from my mother. My father was strict and authoritarian and always said, “Keep principle.” But my mother was intimate and altruistic.  

There is one more thing occurred to me, when I consider my mom. My mother was suffering and suffering woman.

She was suffering from the authority of her husband. And she was suffering from irritation of her sons and daughters in childhood. And she was suffering from the disobedience of them in adolescence full of storm and stress. And she was suffering from disregard of them shouting freedom and independence.  

Still, if I did not eat rice, She went after me and feed me. She told me that if I ate the food, she would give me even the money, She was afraid of my not eating the most. She chased and fed.

But now that I am older, I see my mother and she is so pitiful and I shed tears to see her. I have four siblings. They all shed tears to see our mom. It is true that we did not find my father so much as mom and we had less of such feelings.

Everyone seeks mother. Mother is sacrifice, love and patience. It is because she was suffering too a lot. It seems that the children will realize and mature at a later time.

So when I think about this, I think about my mother. The one who was hurt is the wider one and the greater one. I learn from my mother that it really is winning. As I get older, the solution of human relationships is getting broader. It is wider as much as suffering so that I can bear people. So as if we wanted to nest in the bosom of our mother and find our mother, I feel like I was right now, but my arms, my capacity is greater and broader, and I become needed one more. I knew it through experience and I believe this is true.